Sunday, January 18, 2009

An amusing Boombox review from the US



From Blogcritics

Being an American, I never actually heard of Kylie Minogue until a trip to London in 2001. I remember very little about my introduction to one of Europe’s most popular names: I was in a bar somewhere (probably Soho), I liked what I heard, and when I asked somebody who the artist was, I received a look of “Where have you been? America?” from the puzzled individual in question.

When it comes to foreign artists in the music industry, America always assumes the backwoods hillbilly stereotype that we’re oh-so-famous for. To explain this phenomenon in anything other than an analogy would be futile. So, here‘s an analogy: sure, we could just pop open a bottle of imported whisky, but why should we when we have our own lethal moonshine?

OK, so I’ll be the first to admit that analogy sucked, so I’ll try explaining it in words this time: America hates foreign music. There, I said it, and I’d say it again if I had to.

For those of you who don’t live in the States, I believe our profound bigotry towards foreign artists extends from the fact that we really don't like foreigners, period. We also find European music to be very silly as the lyrics mostly talk about dancing, loving, and music itself, whereas we Yanks prefer to listen to the strained sounds of overly-patriotic-yet-depressed (and drunken) rednecks who complain about their sorry-ass lives, or amusingly-attired urban thugs who talk about nothing but killin' and bangin' bitches. That's what we prefer to listen to in America, folks: rural shit or urban shit.

We pride ourselves on producing albums written by people whose behavioral studies usually contain the words "borderline sociopath" and whose vocabularies rarely include beyond the usage of words like “drink”, “motherfucker”, “nigga”, or “bitch” (and they all carry guns, too).

Well, I suppose you can call me silly, too, because I prefer European music: it’s a little happier, not as hateful, and it sometimes remembers that there in fact was such a thing as "Women's Lib". And those are the same reasons that I like Kylie Mingoue (well, that, and she has a killer body with a great ass), so when I saw that Kylie Boombox: The Remix Album 2000-2008 was coming out, I jumped at the opportunity to review it.

And I’m loving it, too!

Kylie Boombox: The Remix Album 2000-2008 brings us 16 tracks of booty-shaking joy, featuring new takes of some of Kylie’s best known (and a few lesser-known) tunes, all of which have hail from the minds of artists like Fischerspooner, The Chemical Brothers, and Mylo. It also includes the underground mashup/bastard pop/bootleg sensation “Can’t Get Blue Monday Out Of My Head” (which cleverly combines Kylie and New Order) comes as a wonderful surprise (it isn’t often mash-ups make it to commercial CDs — nice job, everyone!).

So, pop the Pill Of The Week, down a Cosmo, and get ready to dance the night away with Kylie Boombox: The Remix Album 2000-2008, because you’re going to love it, too!

2 comments:

Dannii's Delights! said...

LMAO @ the entire review! What an ignorant dumbass!!! haha...I'm American and love foreign music so he needs to STFU -_- Leah Dizon forever! <3

I loved the bit about lesser known hits near the end...of course they're not known to some moron you seems to think he's a musical prophet because he went to the UK once lol

Much luv Justy <3

discoadam said...

Lots of truth about the state of music in the USA. It sucks! Dumbass backwards cowboy hick music and "urban" garbage music that all comes out of the same grist mill.